The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom
The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom
For most of us, this is a joy-filled time of year.
And, for nearly all of us, it’s also a stressful time of year.
But, for many, it’s a time of year that blackens an already dark world. People who suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses, and their loved ones, often find holiday times to be particularly difficult and bleak.
I hope you’ll make a special effort to consider the health of everyone around you this time of year,
Is there a gnawing sense of dread springing up from deep within you? Do you have a feeling you might not be ready for Christmas? Did you try lying down to see if the feeling would pass? Are you wondering if it’s time for you to panic? Here’s how to know for sure:
Top 10 Signs You Are NOT Ready For Christmas
#10 –
Sometimes, bad menus happen to good people.
And, sometimes, people are just horrible cooks.
It wouldn’t be a holiday if we didn’t have tons of food. But, let’s face it, just because there’s tons of it, doesn’t mean the food will be fabulous.
Or, edible.
You don’t want to end up with one of these holiday disasters on your plate.
The great debates of our time are many: Paper versus plastic. Red versus blue. Sheldon versus Leonard.
But, we’ve got plenty of No-Need-To-Debate’s, too. Here are the Top 10 Things We Can All Agree On.
#10. Deodorant – Wear it. Every day. All the time. People who choose to be anti-deodorant-ites should be required to maintain a minimum distance of 30 feet between themselves and any pro-deodorant-ites.
Did you know there are 53 watermelons in that giant, super-sturdy cardboard bin at Costco? Did you know if your 5 year old aims carefully and hits the giant super-sturdy cardboard bin full of watermelons with the corner of the pretty-big, apparently-even-sturdier-than-the-cardboard-bin shopping cart, the giant, super-sturdy cardboard bin will magically split open?
Did you know when the bin splits open 48 of the 53 watermelons will make a run for it?
Do you do the daddy-ing?
Maybe you’re a father. Maybe you’re not.
Either way, the daddy-ing dads, stepdads, uncles, grandpas, brothers, cousins, neighbors, teachers, coaches, and many more do makes a huge difference for the better in the lives of the children they daddy.
Know that all of your efforts for the children in your life are appreciated and world changing, even if they aren’t acknowledged.
Why do we hike 2 miles through mud and over sod in our favorite heels to bake in full sun for 3 ½ hours, all the while wondering who invented pantyhose and whether it’s too late to kill him?
The graduates. We do it for the graduates.
I’ve got some questions for these knowledge-soaked, gown-draped, funny-hatted, glistening individuals.
What’s with your hats? A mortarboard?
It’s that time of year again.
Time to shake and bake while our loved ones stride across the stage.
You want to be a graduation audience member? Let’s see if you’ve got the endurance, savvy, and possibly even stupidity necessary to make the grade.
Ahhh – the audience – that group of adoring fans that entertains delusions of homicide as the ceremony plods along.
Just Because You’re At Graduation Doesn’t Mean You’re Smart!!!
by Gina Valley
I was subjected to unjustifiable torture this weekend.
That’s right, I attended a graduation ceremony.
My nephew, my older sister’s son (she says that I don’t need to point out she’s older. But, I do need to. Because she’s older. Much, much older. And, she always made me be Ken when we played Barbies when I was little.) (Actually,
Just ’cause we love ’em doesn’t mean they’re smart.
We had a dog named Douglas. We loved him all very much.
But, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, Douglas was an idiot.
Often when I’d look at Douglas I’d say to him, “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”
He was pretty. He was a lab and saluki mix, with shiny black fur that was soft like a rabbit’s.
