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The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom

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Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter Word…Gina’s Favorites

Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter Word…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

Laugh out loud with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Pumpkin Should Be A 4 Letter Word

I know its fall, but why am I being punished?

Isn’t it enough that it’s sweater-weather in the morning, and then it warms up to die-if-you’re-wearing-a-sweater-weather in the afternoon?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Pumpkin Is A 4 Letter Word

Or, how about the fact that now, thanks to the fall leaves taking a dive, even outside needs vacuuming?  Like I needed something else to clean.

The homework avalanche is already threatening to swallow my children, even though school has just begun.

My neighbor has a new diesel mulcher he fires up each morning in the pre-dawn hours.

And, someone already ate all the candy I bought for Halloween, so I’m going to have to buy it again.  For the 3rd time.

Why, in addition to that, am I being forced to endure Hyperpumpkinization?

I don’t want pumpkin scented toilet paper or fabric softener or WD40.

I don’t want pumpkin shaped notebook paper, Scantrons, or world globes.

I don’t want pumpkins pictures on my nicotine patch , my parking ticket, or my contact lenses.

I don’t want pumpkin flavored hamburgers or cola or cough medicine.

My green tea already tastes like seaweed; don’t offer me a dollop of pumpkin-infused-whipped cream to push it over the top toward barf-inducing.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Pumpkin Is A 4 Letter WordIt is not Having It My Way when you offer me pumpkin slices on my Whopper Junior at Burger King.

And, does anyone really want pumpkin flakes added to their chocolate shake?  Isn’t that blasphemy or something?  Check Exodus.  I think it’s one of the commandments.

There’s even pumpkin flavored puppy chow.

For the love of all that’s not squash -related, make it stop!

We don’t do this with spring, except if you count Shamrock shakes, and I don’t think those really count.

We don’t do it with winter.  Have you been asked, “Would you like your latte flavored with our seasonal Snowflake & Pine needle blend?”

We don’t do it with summer.  No one offers you Beach Flavored Ice Cream with a sprinkling of freshly ground sand on top.

So, what the heck is the deal with the pumpkins?

Is there some sort of Pumpkin Mafia behind this?

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Pumpkin Is A 4 Letter Word

Is there an Illumipumpkinati at work?

Did someone spread fairy pumpkin dust all around that turned every area of life into another pumpkin showcase moment?

Stop the madness!

I’m getting stabby.

My fork is poised.

swear if the guy at window #2 asks if I want pumpkin dipping sauce for my kids’ pumpkin-shaped chicken nuggets, someone’s getting stabbed.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Are you pro-pumpkin?  Do you pumpkin-up your latte or value meal?  Or, are you in the “leave non-pumpkin stuff, non-pumpkin” camp?   Have you started putting up Christmas decorations to distract yourself from over-pumpkinization?   Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Tuesday Tickles – ndsvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter Tuesday Tickles – ndsvcTuesday Tickles – ndsvc

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

Don’t miss a giggle.  ”Like” up my Facebook page, and to share it with a friend.

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Top 10 REAL Names For This Waiting Room

Top 10 REAL Names For This Waiting Room

by Gina Valley

I’m at a philosophical crossroads.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 REAL Names For This Waiting Room Healthcare WaitingI’ve long believed waiting rooms are the only properly named spaces in the world.

But, having sat in the parents’ waiting room for nearly uncountable hours during my child’s treatments, I’ve began to wonder if perhaps these rooms are misnamed.

Or, perhaps it’s just this one.

I’m pretty sure if I have to sit in this waiting room much longer I’m going to turn into a serial killer.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful for her treatment. I’m very grateful for it. And, I’m thankful for our insurance, without which we couldn’t afford this treatment.

But…

It’s definitely time to rename this waiting room, maybe even all of them.

Top 10 REAL Names For This Waiting Room

#10.  Life Draining From Me As My Legs Slip Into a Coma Room

#9.  If That Guy Doesn’t Stop Grinding His Teeth, I Am Getting The Bat Out Of The Trunk Of My Car Room

#8.  I Think These Magazines Are From The 1800’s Room

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 REAL Names For This Waiting Room Healthcare Waiting#7.  I’ve Been Here So Long I Think I Missed Christmas Room

#6.  Dear Heaven What Is That Noise?!?! Room

#5.  Someone Had Indian Food For Lunch Room

#4.  Museum Of Uncomfortable Chairs Room

#3.  Wifi So Weak It Must Be Powered By A Hamster Room

#2.  Going To Lose A Finger To Frostbite In Here Room

#1.  Where Is A Hot Dog Vendor When You Need One? Room

BONUS Name:  Why People Turn Into Serial Killers Room

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to leave this waiting room, though.  My legs have definitely slipped all the way into a coma.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Have you spent quality time in a waiting room lately? Anything funny happen? What’s the worst waiting room you’ve been in?  Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing what you think.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

We Remember

We Remember

by Gina Valley

Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Kid Kids Child Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Grandpa Grandma Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Gina Valley Parenting 9-11 September 2001 Grief Loss Tragedy Gratefulness  Remembering Remember

Remember

May I remember to be grateful.

May I remember to be thankful.

May I remember great tragedy births great good.

May I remember we lost many, but many lost all.

May I remember life is fleeting and miraculous and beautiful.

And, may I always,

Always,

Always remember.

-gina valley

 

Hug tighter today.

Hold closer.

Remember life is short.

Not laughing today

-gina

How are you changed because of this tragedy?

Top 5 IDIOTIC Things I Do When I Forget My Phone

Top 5 IDIOTIC Things I Do When I Forget My Phone

by Gina Valley

We were running late.

We’re always running late.

I should just say, “We left.” Everyone knows the “We were running late” thing is implied by the whole “We left” thing in the first place.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 5 IDIOTIC Things I Do When I Forget My Phone Cell PhonesI’ll start again.

We left.

In our rush to leave not even close to on time, I diverged from my standard packing protocol, and forgot to put my phone in my right pocket.

I always put my phone in my right pocket. Always. I won’t even buy clothes without pockets there anymore. I need that pocket for my phone.

I’m sure some are thinking that perhaps I don’t need to have my phone with me all of the time, and perhaps you’re right. But, I like to keep it with me all the time if any of my kids are not with me. I like knowing they can reach me if they need to.

Plus, I’m a little OCD (by “a little” I mean “a lot”), and I have to put stuff in the same place every time or I’ll freak out.

And, of course I just need to have my phone with me all of the time, just like you need yours with you all of the time. Because we’re normal. Or, maybe because we’re not. I’m a little fuzzy on that.

Either way.

We were 10 minutes from home, already running 20 minutes late for my daughter’s treatment appointment, when I realized my phone wasn’t in my right pocket.

So, I morphed into an idiot.

Top 5 IDIOTIC Things I Do When I Forget My Phone

#5.  I lose my mind – I try to use my phone because I don’t have it. The second I realize I’ve left my phone at home I decide to use it to call home to tell my family I left it at home. That’s one of those moments when I’m glad my inner thoughts aren’t being broadcast to the universe.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 5 IDIOTIC Things I Do When I Forget My Phone Cell PhonesShortly after that vapor of brilliance dissipates, I try to use my AWOL phone to call someone to ask them to call my phone to make it ring, just in case it’s with me. Again, I’m thankful my thoughts aren’t being broadcast.

#4.  I turn into The Town Crier – Finally, having accepted that I don’t know where my phone is, I feel the need to share that important bit of news with everyone I encounter, as though it’s a cross between winning the lotto and being stuck in quicksand.

Amazingly, upon hearing about my phonelessness, people treat me like I’m recovering from major surgery. “You forgot your cell phone? You poor dear. You better sit down and rest. Would you like a cup of tea? Is there anyone we should notify? Shall we call your pastor?”

#3.  I turn into timeless traveler. -  I hear myself constantly asking people, “What time is it?” “What time is it now?” “Really? Only 3 minutes have passed.” “Now what time is it?”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 5 IDIOTIC Things I Do When I Forget My Phone Cell Phones

#2.  I join the cast of Happy Days – With my dear phone AWOL I slip into thinking that not having a cell phone must be what it was like to live in the 1950’s. I think to myself, again thankful these thoughts aren’t headed out over Wifi, that maybe they didn’t have cell phones then because all the hair goo they used would wreck them. Plus, who’s ever seen a poodle skirt with a pocket? Pretty soon I’m doing a Fonzie impression, looking for a jukebox, and wondering if I could put a carseat on a motorcycle.

#1.  I feed my inner-paranoid – I imagine all sorts of horrendous emergency situations are about to happen, which I could’ve easily escaped if only I had my cell phone with me. Bank robberies. Swarms of locusts. Yeti sightings. Granted none of these situations have ever happened to me or anyone I know, but when I forget my cell phone, I leave logic at home with it, so it won’t be lonely. I’m a giver like that.

I did find my cell phone later that night.

It was in the right pocket.

But, in the pants I changed out of right before I left.

A rookie mistake, really.

There should be an app for that.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

How do you handle it when you misplace your cell phone? Have you lost it recently? Have your kids ever tried to flush it? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Tickles – nnvc

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Twitter Tuesday Tickles – nnvcTickles – nnvc

Complied by Gina Valley

I love to share giggles.

Here’s some of the tweets

that made me laugh in the last week.

 

Great tweets from great tweeps:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be sure to follow me on Twitter so you don’t miss a laugh!

Don’t miss a giggle.  ”Like” up my Facebook page, and please share it with a friend.

I appreciate all of your support!

Laugh Loud Out!

-gina

What makes you smile?  Where do you turn when you need a giggle?  Do you have a favorite tweeter?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family

NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family

by Gina Valley

Laugh along with this Gina’s Favorites post.

There’s One Thing NO ONE Will Do For Their Family

We’ve all said it.

Especially we parents.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family.  Nothing.”

Hmmm.

“I’d take a bullet for my family.”  ”I’d step in front of a knife to save them.”  ”I’d scale a mountain.”  Swim an ocean.  Anything.”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family.”

Sure there is.

No one, no one, will eat the last 2 pieces of a loaf of bread.

Nope.  No one.

We all leave those nasty things for the rest of our family.

We all reach around that first “heel” to get to the good bread. Someone else can eat that cruddy, first, tough piece. Gotta have that soft, fresh bread to keep up our strength for our stepping-in-front-of-a-bullets skills.

And, when all the good bread is gone, do we eat those last two loan slices?  Those banes of the bread world?  The heels of home cooking?   Do we choke them down before opening a new loaf, as we instruct our family members to do?

Not a chance.

We open the new bag, and go in for the good stuff, again reaching around the first crud piece at the front. We have to be prepared to fight off a pride of lions, for goodness sake. We need the good bread.

Sure, we’ll jump into a vat of hot oil to save our littles.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!Yes, we’ll wrestle crocodiles to save our sweetheart.

But, don’t ask us to eat those nasty bread rejects.

My family is full of crusty bread avoiders, and I can prove it.

We have a large basket we store our bread in on one of our kitchen counters.  We call it, you might want to write this creativity down and pin it on your Pinterest board, “The Bread Basket.”

Last week, I decided to empty our bread basket to hunt for any green bread.  I knew I needed to perform this check for lack of food hygienic-ness, because one of my kids had been assigned the “empty the bread basket and check for green bread” chore the day before, and had assured me all was well in our bread world.

Nothing ensures that something did not get done quite as certainly as assigning the job to one of your kids, and having said kid tell you that the job was completed.

So, a hunting I did go.

As it turns out, my pack’s aversion to clipping bags of bread  shut resulted in our multitude of bags of bread being kept rather dry, and, thus, green-fuzz free (with the exception of one particularly unfortunate half-loaf of wheat bread I found securely sealed at the bottom of our bread basket.  The trapped moisture in the bag had worked with the bread to produce a truly science-fair-worthy slurry of green fuzz and black goo).

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!The other TWELVE bags of bread (yes, twelve!) were in great shape, if perhaps a bit on the dry side.  But, most notable, beyond their sheer numbers, was that each bag contained only 2 pieces of bread. The ends from their eras. The two rejects from a previously happy bread family.

As I stared at the evidence of our familial bread self-centeredness, my inner Martha Stewart sprang to life.

I could dry out those poor, rejected bread souls, and turn them into bread crumbs for meatloaf and such.  I pulled out a couple sheet pans, laid out all of the slices on them, and placed the pans on top of our stove.  I planned to put the pans into the oven after dinner was done cooking, to dry the bread out thoroughly.

Then, in the after school chaos, I forgot all about my bread project.

As each of my pack got home, they had a snack at our breakfast table before seeking me out in our family room for their daily after school debriefing.

Then, we slipped into full scale homework mode. There was algebra to help with, papers to sign, emails to send, history chapters to read. It was academic overload, but a necessary part of our day and their education.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!In the blink of an eye, 2 hours had passed, and it was past time to get dinner on the table.

As I scurried about our kitchen, handing dinner components to children to place on our table, I noticed my bread project had changed drastically.

There was only 4 total slices left on the sheet pans.

I was bewildered.   I looked on the floor.  I looked in the oven.  I tried to remember if the dog had been hanging out in the kitchen.  But, I was unable to determine where the stale stuff had gone.

Just as I was beginning to accept the fact that the bread had grown legs, and scampered off of its own volition, Son#1 asked me, “What are you looking for, mom?  I think everything for dinner’s already on the table.”

“I had a bunch of bread on these pans, and I can’t figure out where it went.”

“Oh, well, I ate some for snack,” he replied.

I was beyond surprised. “Why?” I asked him.

“It was on the stove. I figured it was something you’d made for snacks today,” he responded.

“What did you think it was?” I asked, trying not to laugh.

“I don’t know. It tasted like old bread, so I only ate 4 pieces,” he said.

Funny Humor Food http://ginavalley.com/  NO ONE Will Do THIS For Their Family  – Read & Laugh All About It!Chatting with the rest of my pack at dinner revealed that the rest of the missing 20-something slices of bread had also been consumed as post-school snacks, with the belief that I had somehow “made something” with it.

Some put jam on it.  A couple used butter.  My youngest ate 3 slices dry.

So, apparently, I don’t need to be a hero, and choke down those reject slices.  I just need to get them out of the bag, and onto a pan.

I guess I’ve been wasting all the time I’ve been spending actually cooking stuff.  Apparently, I just need to rearrange it.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Who finishes the loaf of bread at your house?  Is there anything you wouldn’t do for your family?  Shoot me a comment.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Back To School Funnies

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School FunniesBack To School Funnies

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Back to School is upon us.

If your kids haven’t hit the school halls yet, they will be soon.

Before you get buried in shopping for 15 packs of crayons or building a scaled Mt. Vesuvius, it’s time to get your giggle on.

 

Back To School Funnies

Smiles From Around The World Wide Web

Complied by Gina Valley

Be sure to visit the Gina Valley Facebook page and to “like” me up.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

 It’s all about speaking their language.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Touché, stocker!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Old school is hard for the new kids on the block.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Like moms ever get to sleep!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

That’s just not part of the common core.

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

So is hiding!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

This would be funnier if it wasn’t so true!

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Where are the parents’ Back to School supplies?

 

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Facebook Pinterest Back to School Funnies

Ain’t that the truth?!?!

Have you fanned me up on Facebook? If not, here’s your chance!  Click on over and hit “like” so you don’t miss a giggle (be sure to hover and select “Show in News Feed” while you’re at it, so Facebook will show you the giggles).

Consider this your formal invitation to check out all of my boards on Pinterest, too.

I hope they give you some giggles, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina             

What made you smile this week? Did you have a good week?  Any big plans this weekend?  Have you scheduled time to relax?  I’m looking forward to hearing about it!  Shoot me a comment with all the details!

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil…Gina’s Favorites

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil…Gina’s Favorites

by Gina Valley

And, so it begins.

Youth soccer season kicked off this week.

We’ve already enjoyed the panic of missing cleats, insanity of shuttling kids between 4 different practices, and a trial run to the closest emergency room. And, they haven’t even played their first game yet.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsJoin me in the madness with this Gina’s Favorites post.

Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil

Youth soccer is the root of all evil.

It seems like the perfect children’s sport.

Everyone can play.  The rules are simple.  Only basic equipment is necessary.

What a lovely way to spend an afternoon bonding with your family.

Except it’s so not.

Having had children participate for the past decade, with many more years still to come, I can tell you authoritatively that youth soccer is, in fact, the portal to evil.

We suckers, I mean parents, sign our kids up for what we think will be a relaxing once a week contest among friends.  We don’t realize until it’s too late that we’ve joined an insidious cult.

The fact that soccer makes us rise earlier than the hockey families on Saturday morning should have been a clue that foul play was amiss.  But, blurry-eyed and sleep-deprived such as we are, we missed it.

Before we knew what was happening we’re handed a stack of schedules:  snack schedule, picture schedule, paint the field schedule, clean out some random guys garage schedule.

We’re given misspelled names to game locations on 4 different continents, and told to MapQuest them.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsWe get a bill for coaches’ gifts, a team banner, practice shirts, and someone’s new car.

It all works together to set our heads spinning before the games even start.

Basically, it’s just a simple ruse on the part of the children’s union to bring us parents into submission.

And it’s working, too.

It’s so much easier for kids to control sleep-deprived, sun-stroked, Goldfish-cracker-fed parents. The complex details and extensive sun exposure rapidly turn our brains to mush. Gibberish becomes our first language.

They’ve got us to not only let them, but to encourage them to run through mud puddles, push people, kick things, gulp Gatorade, snarf Oreos, and scream at their friends, all in the name of getting some quality exercise and good clean fun.

Just yesterday I heard myself say to one of my littles, “You can skip your chores, just please leave your uniform outside, and get into the shower. Quickly.”

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Youth Soccer Is The Root Of All Evil...Gina's Favorites SportsEight hours into today’s marathon session I heard myself whine, “I just want some candy. Does anyone have any candy?!?!”

After returning home from another full day of Soccer Mom-ing, I bargained with one of my tiny teamsters, “I’m exhausted. I don’t care what you what you do. Just let me sleep. For the love of all that’s holy, let me sleep!” Every electronic, screen-outfitted item in our house shuddered, preparing for the onslaught.

And, no, they did not let me sleep.

Maybe I can doze during half-time tomorrow.  After my shift at the snack bar.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Has your family joined the youth soccer cult?  Was I supposed to bring snacks this week? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission

Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is Barking

Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is Barking

by Gina Valley

They say:  “Pets make you live longer.”

I say:  “It just feels that way.”

We have 2 dogs, Bear and Ziva. They’re 1 ½ years old, brother and sister from the same litter of Labrador puppies. But, that’s where their similarity ends.

Bear is blonde, stout, and so laid back I sometimes hold a mirror under his nose to make sure he’s still breathing. His favorite things to do are to sleep, and to stand on our dining room table, while it creaks and groans under his 102 pounds.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is BarkingZiva is sleek and covered in shiny black fur. She is never still unless she’s sleeping. Her favorite thing to do is to wake up Bear, and to goad him into chasing her.

Until this week.

Ziva has a new favorite thing to do now.

She likes to stand right next to me, and bark.

Over and over and over.

This is not her cute little play-with-me puppy bark. This is not the huffing noise she uses to get my attention when she wants breakfast and it’s not forthcoming.

No, this ear-splitter is propelled out of my furry friend by all 90 pounds of her muscle, and shakes the windows and nearly knocks me over.

I’m sure ours is not the only canine with lots of loud to say. Perhaps your furry friend has a similar habit. Ever wonder what all the barking’s about? I’ve got you covered.

Top 10 Reasons The Dog Is Barking

#10.  She wants to freak you out while you’re home alone

#9.  The cheesecake she snarfed down while you drove the kids to school is fighting back, and she needs to go out to make a deposit or she will make her deposit on the rug

#8.  She already made her deposit on the rug, and you’re about to wreck all of her hard work by stepping in it.

#7.  She ate her carrot and her brother fell asleep on top of his carrot and she wants you to take it from him and to give it to her.

#6.  She saw a raccoon an hour ago, but you weren’t home so she’s telling you about it now.

#5.  There is more cheesecake in the refrigerator.

#4.  She does not observe Daylight Savings Time, and it’s time to get up.

#3.  The hamster is looking at her.

#2.  You closed the bathroom door, and she misses you.

#1.  She just likes to hear herself bark.

Come to think of it, my kids holler at me about most of these, too.

Laugh Out Loud!

-gina

Do your furry friends holler at you? Do you speak their language? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission