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All Posts By gina valley

Top 10 SCARY Holiday Foods

Sometimes, bad menus happen to good people.

And, sometimes, people are just horrible cooks.

It wouldn’t be a holiday if we didn’t have tons of food. But, let’s face it, just because there’s tons of it, doesn’t mean the food will be fabulous.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 SCARY Holiday Foods Thanksgiving Christmas Holidays Thanksgiving ChristmasOr, edible.

You don’t want to end up with one of these holiday disasters on your plate.

Top 10 Things We Can All Agree On

The great debates of our time are many: Paper versus plastic. Red versus blue. Sheldon versus Leonard.

But, we’ve got plenty of No-Need-To-Debate’s, too. Here are the Top 10 Things We Can All Agree On.

#10.  Deodorant – Wear it. Every day. All the time. People who choose to be anti-deodorant-ites should be required to maintain a minimum distance of 30 feet between themselves and any pro-deodorant-ites.

The Great Watermelon Stampede of ’17

Did you know there are 53 watermelons in that giant, super-sturdy cardboard bin at Costco? Did you know if your 5 year old aims carefully and hits the giant super-sturdy cardboard bin full of watermelons with the corner of the pretty-big, apparently-even-sturdier-than-the-cardboard-bin shopping cart, the giant, super-sturdy cardboard bin will magically split open?

Did you know when the bin splits open 48 of the 53 watermelons will make a run for it?

Are You A Dad-er?

Do you do the daddy-ing?

Maybe you’re a father. Maybe you’re not.

Either way, the daddy-ing dads, stepdads, uncles, grandpas, brothers, cousins, neighbors, teachers, coaches, and many more do makes a huge difference for the better in the lives of the children they daddy.

Know that all of your efforts for the children in your life are appreciated and world changing, even if they aren’t acknowledged.

Why The Funny Hat?

Why do we hike 2 miles through mud and over sod in our favorite heels to bake in full sun for 3 ½ hours, all the while wondering who invented pantyhose and whether it’s too late to kill him?

The graduates. We do it for the graduates.

I’ve got some questions for these knowledge-soaked, gown-draped, funny-hatted, glistening individuals.

What’s with your hats? A mortarboard?

Folding Chair Follies

It’s that time of year again.

Time to shake and bake while our loved ones stride across the stage.

You want to be a graduation audience member? Let’s see if you’ve got the endurance, savvy, and possibly even stupidity necessary to make the grade.

Ahhh – the audience – that group of adoring fans that entertains delusions of homicide as the ceremony plods along. At least a lot of them are darn entertaining,

Just Because You’re At Graduation Doesn’t Mean You’re Smart!!!

Just Because You’re At Graduation Doesn’t Mean You’re Smart!!!
by Gina Valley

I was subjected to unjustifiable torture this weekend.

That’s right, I attended a graduation ceremony.

My nephew, my older sister’s son (she says that I don’t need to point out she’s older. But, I do need to. Because she’s older. Much, much older. And, she always made me be Ken when we played Barbies when I was little.) (Actually,

He Answered To “Easter Basket”

Just ’cause we love ’em doesn’t mean they’re smart.

We had a dog named Douglas. We loved him all very much.

But, and I mean that in the nicest possible way, Douglas was an idiot.

Often when I’d look at Douglas I’d say to him, “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

He was pretty. He was a lab and saluki mix, with shiny black fur that was soft like a rabbit’s.

I’ll Just Poke Myself In The Eye

You know how sometimes you impress your family and friends with your skill and competence?

Yeah, me neither.

Last night a little moth flew straight into my face, landed on my nose, freaked out, and tried to fly away. But, he must have forgotten how he got there (or maybe he just had a poor sense of direction. Not judging here. Just reporting) (Although I am pretty sure he’s male,

Socks ARE The Devil!!!

They’re trying to drive me insane.

No, not my pack.

Well, them, too, but I’m talking about those knit, Ninja-skilled, foot festoon-ers.

Is there anything more futile and infuriating than trying to keep a supply of clean, paired up socks?

Oh. My. Gosh.

Why is that absolutely impossible to do?

Socks seem to disappear at our home right before our eyes.