After The Trip Up The Aisle
by Gina Valley
This week The Professor and I will be celebrating our wedding anniversary. I have now been married longer than I was unmarried. Sometimes, it’s hard to even remember what life was like in my pre-ring era. Other times, it’s easy.
As I was thinking about my life before the jog in the long white dress, I thought my Pre VS Post: Marriage Changes Us post would be perfect for Throwback Day this week. You can read my Pre VS Post: Marriage Changes Us post below in its entirety, or, for you hardcore readers, you can click on one of these magic links to read my Pre VS Post: Marriage Changes Us post in its original location.
Either way, I’ll meet you at Pre VS Post: Marriage Changes Us . You bring the cake. I’ll bring the laughs.
Pre VS Post: Marriage Changes Us
This week Jason Clark of @JasonTheDad shot out a tweet that made me literally laugh out loud. Thank you for that, by the way, Jason. Still giggling!
Here it is:
The wife finally agreed to set up a vid cam in our bedroom. Finally going 2 settle this who’s da bed hog & who snores fight once & for all.
— JasonTheDad (@JasonTheDad) September 19, 2012
Here’s my reply:
@JasonTheDad Lol! Your wife agreed to a cam in the bedroom & THATS what you want to do with it? 🙂
— Gina Valley (@GinaValley) September 19, 2012
His tweet didn’t just make me laugh. It made me think about how marriage changes us. I’m not saying that’s bad. Not saying it’s good. Just saying it’s different.
It’s really different.
And, it’s funny.
Pre VS Post
Video cameras in the bedroom
- Pre – night to see who’s the most adventurous
- Post – night to see who is snoring and hogging the bed (credit to Jason on this one!)
She says “I’m hot!’
- Pre – he tears off his clothes and jumps into bed
- Post – he jumps out of bed and turns on the fan
Friday night
- Pre – standing date – dinner at a hip new restaurant and then seeing the latest hot movie
- Post -standing date – samples at Costco for dinner and then seeing if you can get the hot roast chicken home without it leaking all over the car
Nail polish
- Pre – trying to impress him before each date with perfectly polished toe and fingernails
- Post – pressing him into painting her toenails for her so she’ll look nice for her night out with the girls.
His Gut
- Pre – sucking it in every time she so much as glances his way for the duration of the date
- Post – asking her to watch as he tries to push it out far enough to use it to operate the remote
Dinner
- Pre – he cooks his special spaghetti and meatballs dinner for her
- Post – he over-cooks water until it burns, then calls to ask her to pick-up pizza on the way home.
Children
- Pre – dreaming about the exquisite, perfect geniuses your progeny would be
- Post – never dreaming because your progeny never let you sleep
Sub-wardrobing
- Pre – Her skivvies are beautiful and matching
- Post – if her skivvies are both clean she calls that a match
Underneath it all
- Pre – he slips into silk boxers he bought because they’re her favorite color
- Post – he slips into a pair of his Walmart cheapos that he found on the bedroom floor
Movies
- Pre – He asks her what her favorite part of their shared favorite movie is
- Post – He asks her if he has seen the movie they’re currently watching, and, when she says that he has, he asks her if he liked it.
Shaving
- Pre – everywhere everyday just in case
- Post – only the basics without a two day advanced warning.
Candles
- Pre – candles burning in the bedroom to set the mood for romance
- Post – candles burning in the kitchen to cover up the stench created when someone didn’t take their turn at doing the dishes.
Which reminds me – it’s my turn today for dishes.
I wonder if we have any candles.
Laugh Out Loud!
-gina
What changed when you exchanged jewelry? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.
For more giggles about wedded bliss, click on over to my This Column Is Not About Having “You-Know-What” post.
As always, the extra click to get there counts as cardio.
