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Top 10 Topics My Sons Are Bickering About

Top 10 Topics My Sons Are Bickering About

by Gina Valley

They say children help you live longer. I say it just feels longer.

Take yesterday afternoon, for example.

Please, take it.

I had planned a relaxing afternoon for our family. Unfortunately, I neglected to consult the Calendar Of Childish Insanity prior to making my plans.

Humor Funny Humorous Family Life Love Laugh Laughter Parenting Mom Moms Dad Dads Parenting Child Kid Kids Children Son Sons Daughter Daughters Brother Brothers Sister Sisters Grandparent Grandma Grandpa Grandparents Grandfather Grandmother Parenting Gina Valley Top 10 Topics My Sons Are Bickering AboutIf I had consulted it, I would have been advised that my 2 youngest sons were scheduled to slip into grumpy-old-men mode and to bicker all afternoon.

What did they bicker about? What didn’t they bicker about would be an easier to answer question. But, here’s a few of the vitally important topics they decided to debate in a seemingly unending manner:

Top 10 Topics My Sons Are Bickering About

#10.  The correct way to pronounce “era.” It’s ear-uh! It’s air-uh! It’s enough to drive everyone around them insane.

#9.  Is it ok to eat the bread (cracker piece) before the wine (grape juice) when you’re taking communion. Yes, that was the argument they were having when our pastor had to stop preaching to shush them.

#8.  Whether trumpets or saxophones are better…for killing zombies.  I guess they want to be prepared in case zombies show up at their next band concert.

#7.  Which of our dogs is smarter. I’ve got news for them – I don’t think either dog is going to be asked to join Mensa anytime soon.

#6.  Whose turn it was to tell their sister that it’s her turn to take out the trash. I think I saw the cat roll his eyes before burying his head under a pillow during this exchange.

#5.  Whose boxers are on the floor in our dining room. Yes, dining room. They argued about this for half an hour, and then decided the boxers did not belong to either of them. Apparently, they believe our neighbors are dropping by in the middle of the night, and leaving underwear in our dining room.

#4.  Why a pencil is called a “pencil.” Seriously. This banter was so horrible it even sucked the life out of our few living houseplants.

#3.  Which of the twin brothers who are teachers at their school looks more like “that guy in that movie.” That’s right, they couldn’t remember the guy’s name or the movie’s name, and were undeterred by the fact that these 2 men are identical twins.

#2.  Who should have to get out of our van first? Keep in mind this lovely discussion, complete with insults and whining, took place while the two boys, who normally race to see who can get out first, were seated exactly equal distances from the door, both, apparently wanting to live out their days inside of our van.

#1.  Whether some guy, named Zak, cheated when he ran a 6 minute mile in PElast year. They nearly came to blows over this one, and, frankly, I don’t even know who the heck Zak is, much less care if he cheated.

Now, where did I put those boarding school brochures?

And, do they take moms?

Laugh Out Loud!


Have you been witness to a marathon bicker-fest in your family? Anyone grumpy in your neck of the woods? How do you handle it? Shoot me a comment. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.

Photos courtesy of Stock.xchng – Used with permission
14 Responses
  • PeskyPippi (@PeskyPippi)
    November 10, 2014

    Totally cracking up at this post! Especially the unclaimed underwear in the dining room. I thought that just happened at our house!

  • Justin Knight
    November 10, 2014

    Seriously funny (and ridiculous) stuff! I can think of a few more things for them to argue about. Let me know if you need my ideas! 🙂

  • Astra
    November 10, 2014

    Oh yes. So perfect. I have a 14yo, 17 yo and 18yo. The 18yo was home from university for the weekend and commented at dinner (after a splendid display of pretty much your entire post!) that he missed our dinner table squabbles so much. Almost made me cry… if I wasn’t already crying, that is!!

  • The Rookie Dad
    November 11, 2014

    At least they were bickering about church stuff in church… I’m sure it got some laughs too!

  • Kim Smith
    November 11, 2014

    This is really funny, and I love your writing style. Reminded me of my kids, and of course, of myself and my brothers and sisters. Makes your post timeless and universal. LOL

  • qwertygirl
    November 15, 2014

    I was an only child. I can’t understand the constant bickering. And about subjects that are about as life changing as the ones yours are fighting about.

    I’m also relieved to know that mine are not the only children who leave underwear on the dining room floor. Or perhaps I should say, mine are not the only NEIGHBORS who leave underwear on the dining room floor, because I refereed that fight last week. They belonged to no one, it would seem. Or rather, they belonged to one of the other 8-10 year olds in the neighborhood who stole in during the night and dropped a pair of Lego Ninjago underpants in our dining room. *sigh*

    • gina valley
      November 17, 2014

      The bickering must be especially mind boggling to you, not having grown up with siblings to practice your bickering skills on. I have 4 sisters, so I got plenty of bickering experience growing up (and as a grown up!).

      I’m always so glad to hear from another parent that they, too, have found kid’s underwear in their dining room. The first time it happened at our house I was mortified. Now it’s happened so many times that, although I still can’t fathom what sort of urgent issue would convince someone that abandoning their skivvies in the dining room is a good choice, now I’m more disgusted than surprised when I find the crinkled up treasure. :O)

  • Heather Holter
    November 15, 2014

    This is so funny I was rolling! And my family thinks I’m nuts. The van and zombie ones were the best!

    • Heather Holter
      November 15, 2014

      And the underware one I almost forgot to add that. Reminds me of my kids when we ask who did something and everyone says “Not Me”. I wonder where not me lives because he sure does a lot of naughty things around here.

      • gina valley
        November 17, 2014

        “Not me!” seems to be responsible for an awful lot of mischief in our home, too, Heather! He (or she!) definitely seems to get around! ;o)

    • gina valley
      November 17, 2014

      Thank you, Heather! I’m so glad to get to share a giggle with you!

  • Melissa
    November 16, 2014

    When I was a kid my mom said my sis and I would fight over anything. “She won’t stop looking at me!!!!”
    Now that I am raising three sisters, I make it clear that your sisters will be your best ally and friend you ever have so take a step back and a deep breath and work it out. So far so good but they are young. Wish me luck!!

    • gina valley
      November 17, 2014

      It’s absolutely amazing how kids can find anything to fight over. I don’t know how my parents put up with our constant bickering without losing their minds!
      I have 3 daughters, too, Melissa (and 4 sons). My girls are teenagers now, and I often remind them, especially when they are picking at each other, that sisters are friends you have for life, too. I hope they hold onto that!

  • […] Top 10 Topics My Sons Are Bickering About via GinaValley. I once had an argument with one of my brothers about the pronunciation of the word salmon. (I’ll leave it up to the sibling in question to reveal his identity if he chooses to do so). […]